Initial narrative

This is our initial narrative:

1. We start with a black screen, fading into a girl looking round the car park with a torch. All you can see is a basic outline of a girl, holding keys also, the torch light is flashing round the screen.
2. She is running through this dimly lit car park, looking around her very scared as if something is chasing her. She runs to her car and struggles to fit the key in the lock, her hands are shaking and she is very scared.
3. A shot of her keys is shown as we see her drop her keys on the floor within her panic.They are under the car.
4. We then cut to a bathroom scene. We see a women in a bath (but do not see her face) and we see her painting her nails a dark red. There is a laptop on the loo, watching CCTV which is an online game.
5. We then cut back to the eerie car park and there is a shot looking under a car to see keys and her hand reaching for them. But then another hand reaches across and grabs her hand.
6. We then cut to the back to the bathroom scene and see the woman picking at her skin which makes it bleed- the blood drips down her arm and she watches it drip down into the water and spell out our title 'Immersed'.
7. It then cuts back to the car park to see a creepy smiling man looking at her from under the car.
8. It then cuts back to the bathroom where the woman is in her towel getting out of the bath, she goes to the laptop- it then zooms into one of the CCTV screens of a girl on the screen. On the CCTV screen we see the girl lying dead next to the car and her neck is bruised where she has been strangled to death.
9. After realising it is her lying dead in the car park (the audience does not yet know that it is her, apart from subtle hints throughout).
10. It cuts back where the girl in the bathroom is stressing out and switches the laptop off immediately. 
11.  In the suddenly black screen reflection we see her face and she is the girl from the car park and behind her is the same man from the underneath of the car.
12. The screen goes black and the credits role.